Okay. So this is going to be difficult.
This topic is about respecting our thoughts. We easily let our thoughts and imagination be polluted and somehow feel that it’s permissible. This includes us all. What drove me to raise this subject are simple experiences of my routine life. There are certain matters in this world that are extremely serious yet treated as a matter of entertainment and ignorance..
So this is what it goes like:
- Woman is a creation of God. Men are supposed to respect the gender and not just a particular range of ladies just because they are related to them by any means, making others permissible to disrespect.
- A woman of bad character is bad. Her badness does not give license to other men /women to disrespect her publicly and decide her misfortune for the sake of their own entertainment. What’s agonizing is some people do not even bother to verify the condition of badness.
- Just because a girl is friendly does not mean she is available!
- If woman chooses to work (for a living or for passion) does not mean that she is cheap, that her thoughts are gone stray and her character is any less than the woman who chose to stay at home. These women are not out there because they are so depressed that they couldn’t win a husband by sitting at home that they decided to join an office and find a guy for themselves. Or if they are married, they are not out there to have fun with other guys behind their husband’s back.
- Just because you are married, it does not give you any right to discuss your wives in public or order them around in public. Wives are partners NOT possessions.
- Only because and guy are talking does not mean that something is going on between them. Just because a girl does not talk to a lot of guys and is friendly with one does not mean that they have a ‘scene’ and even if they do, is not it their personal matter? You should not get to have fun at their expense. There is something called respect.
- I don’t know if this is news, but all ladies have the same biological structure. Disrespecting any girl/woman by either mother sister slang, watching implicit videos/movies/shows or any other such vulgarity is doing the exact same disrespect to every other woman, which includes your own mother, sister and wife.
- If someone is wearing inappropriate clothes by choice, it is your choice to either stare, ignore or help her/him. You will not be sinned because they are wearing inappropriate clothes. But you WILL be sinned for drooling over them. If you sincerely have a problem, build up some courage to guide such people to correction rather than humiliating them through gossips.
- For some weird and unfathomable reasons, our society mostly insists on applying all Islamic laws to women. We keep on forgetting that the laws apply on men as well. Man and woman both are forbidden to touch any na-mahram. They both have been told to keep themselves covered. The laws do differ for the two genders, yes, but the laws are THERE for both man and woman. And both have to follow them.
- Abstaining from cheap talks just because a girl is sitting around doesn’t make a guy respectful or heroic. It’s simply a question of abstaining from disrepute and cheapness, the rest is just hypocrisy.
Being a female, it may seem very typical of me to raise this matter and though it’s very difficult for me to empathize, the vice versa of all these points apply to all sick minded ladies as well. The definition of appropriate and inappropriate may vary between persons, places, circumstances or authority but the definition of RIGHT and WRONG is independent of any such item. In simple words, just because someone did not mind your wrong comment may portray your comment as appropriate but it still remains wrong. And if someone smiled at your inappropriate joke, although he/she should not, but it doesn’t mean that you get to repeat it. You are simply disrespecting yourself by doing that.
This article is not purposed to impose the entire blame of wrongdoings of women on men. It’s true that every action has it’s own reaction and if a girl does something wrong, she will be answerable for it. But only she will not be accountable for the reactions of men. They themselves must gather the guts to take responsibility of their own actions instead of consoling their hearts with self made fake approvals and making comments like “If a girl is showing off, then obviously guys have a right to drool over her”. That is not even LOGICALLY acceptable.
Obviously, nobody is perfect but what everyone should at least try is to focus on the right approach. The guts of accepting what’s wrong makes a person excellent but the nerve to refrain from it takes him towards greatness.